The Best Laid Plans, or Whatever

Diary

I'm proud to report that my mission is nearly accomplished.  Three months of slinging fried fish and frozen margaritas on Cape Cod have been a boon to my bank account and i'm now on the cusp of my New York move, i.e. the big one, i.e. the moment i've been anxiously awaiting for my entire life.  I'm about to fling myself into the unfathomable whirl of my dreams, about to begin climbing the towering ladder of my aspirations, and all sorts of other hyperbolic metaphors.  Romanticization aside, i'm moving and there's work involved.  Work that i've barely begun thinking about.  Work like planning an exact move date and renting a U-Haul.  Important things like finding a place to live and a job.  Oh sure, i brought out the boxes and mentally packed them, deciding which box would be for what.  And i've perused Craigslist.  And i gave my notice at work.  And, i know what needs doing.  (That's an important step!)  Unfortunately, i'm facing a bit of a catch-22 situation.  I need to live in the city to have a job and it seems as though i'll need a job before i can find a place to rent so that i can live in the city.  Fun, eh?  I'm not worried though.  My friends Shoshanna & Kyle have benevolently offered me a place to crash for a time and i'll just have to begin the job seeking and house hunting once i get there.  Plus, i think destiny may be at work, or something.

I'm not a complete slacker though; i have been preparing myself in other ways less tangible, but, i think, equally as important.  I've begun spiritual preparations.  Laugh if you must, deride me if you feel the impulse, but this move is more than a milestone.  Living in New York City is what i've spent the past decade dreaming of, writing about, & toiling towards.  The U-Haul, boxes, & endless to do lists may be necessary to deliver my possessions to the city, but my aim is not to merely reside there, but to exist there, to fully inhabit my New York life, an endeavor which requires far more than planning, an endeavor which requires Poetry.  So i've revisited Angels in America, queued up New York on my Netflix, & picked up some Walt Whitman:

Others will enter the gates of the ferry and cross from shore to shore,

Others will watch the run of the flood-tide,

Others will see the shipping of Manhattan north and west, and the heights of 

Brooklyn to the south and east,

Others will see the islands large and small;

Fifty years hence, others will see tham as they cross, the sun half and hour 

high,

A hundred years hence, or ever so many hundred years hence, others will see 

them,

Will enjoy the sunset, the pouring-in of the flood-tide, the falling-back to 

the sea of the ebb-tide.

3

It avails not, time nor place -distance avails not,

I am with you, you men and women of a generation, or ever so many generations 

hence,

Just as you feel when you look on the river and sky, so I felt,

Just as any of you is one of a living crowd, I was one of a crowd,

Just as you are refreshed by the gladness of the river and the bright flow, I 

was refreshed,

Just as you stand and lean on the rail, yet hurry with the swift current, I 

stood yet was hurried,

Just as you look on the numberless masts of ships and the thick-stemmed pipes 

of steamboats, I looked.

As with any burgeoning love affair, i've flung my self fully into the fantasy & history of my new lover, to consume of it as much as i might before it consumes me.  And it will.  It has already begun.

Update:  I began this post last week, but injured my back and couldn't complete it till now.  Don't worry, i've since begun planning the nuts & bolts of my move.  Sept 12th is the date–somewhat ironic, no?